By Caroline Pecora for Executive Alliance
Have you had a great mentor? A strong mentoring relationship can help launch personal growth and career development opportunities. Most people have received guidance from someone with more experience than them at some point in their lives, and whether these are organic or intentional pairings, the ripple effect of mentoring relationships in the workplace is enormous.
Sometimes, people don’t realize they’ve been the ones to provide guidance. How can you bring the skills of a mentor into your everyday working relationships? Simply sharing some of your lived experiences or offering a good listening ear can be immensely helpful. These skills are key to being a great mentor, according to leadership experts Margaret Wilson and Dr. Pam Love.
Wilson is an experienced leadership coach and business advisor. She also shares her professional insights at Executive Alliance’s Effective Impact Mentoring Program. “My role in life is to help organizations and people evolve and to become stronger and more mature,” she said.
Love, an Executive Alliance member and co-chair of the governance committee, takes on various leadership roles herself. She is the President of DP Love Enterprises, which offers leadership consulting, training, coaching and mentoring. Additionally, she founded the Finishers Network, which works with DP Love Enterprises to help people finish what they set out to do.
Wilson and Love agree that for many, the desire to become a mentor stems from wanting to give back. Most mentors have reaped the benefits of having someone offer guidance, support, communication and feedback. “I believe without mentors, I probably wouldn’t have accomplished many of the things that I have,” Love said. “They really pushed and challenged me.” The benefit of having someone who has more experience can “fuel your growth, help build your confidence and make the right connections for you,” said Wilson. She believes mentoring plays a valuable role in creating a fulfilling career. Love and Wilson share six tips on how to be a great mentor.
Ask questions and listen.
First, ask lots of questions and be a good listener. Wilson says being a good mentor is not all about giving advice. “I think the best mentors tend to forget themselves a bit in the conversation because they’re so focused on that other person,” she said. Love added that a good mentor also has great active listening skills. This means listening for “what’s underneath” so there can be a productive, engaging conversation.
Offer practical help.
Next, offer practical help. Love said it’s important to share knowledge and experience, and Wilson encouraged mentors to open their personal networks and provide access to useful resources. For example, insight, connections and tools from someone a little bit further along in life or work can make a big impact. These aids are most helpful because they allow mentees to get ahead and see a path forward.
Clearly define the relationship.
Wilson and Love recommend a clear mentee-mentor agreement. The mentor wants to be sure they are doing all they can to give the mentee what they hope to gain from the relationship, which also comes with setting boundaries. It’s important to know what’s personal for both the mentee and mentor. By acknowledging these things upfront, both people will know when to step back, and this could even possibly encourage confidence in the mentee.
Commit time.
Both the mentor and mentee must be willing to commit time to the relationship. Depending on the agreement, this can look different in every relationship. Regardless, a mentor is expected to be there to encourage someone else. Maybe that means having regular meeting times, attending an event or being available to talk or text. Whatever it is, be prepared to have someone leaning on you.
Build an organic relationship.
Mentoring works best when it happens organically. Don’t try to force anything. Rather, focus on building a good, solid relationship that has trust and confidence in one another.
Create mutual benefit.
Finally, ensure there is mutual benefit to both the mentee and mentor. Wilson said, “It’s equally important to lean into your mentee’s wisdom.” Although the main point of the relationship is to provide direction and assistance for the mentee, the mentor should also gain knowledge from the mentee. By putting together all of Love and Wilson’s tips, a mentor will find they can learn just as much from their mentee.
The mentee-mentor relationship is unique. Everyone has mentors in their lives, but being a friend is what makes the best mentors. “Having that guide, that go-to person that can give you support, affirm you, bring out the best in you, I think is so important,” Love said. Mentors often find great satisfaction in watching the mentee reach their goals. Wilson said she loves seeing the growth, maturity and confidence in the EA mentees by the end of the program. Mentoring is a rewarding experience for everyone involved. The best mentors not only help accomplish what the mentee set out to do but also watch them grow as an individual – and that’s a feeling unlike any other.